family pic

family pic

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Perspective

Friday afternoon my stress level, on a scale from 1(low) to 10(mental breakdown), was approximately a 9.79. I had a little work to finish up before taking the kids to see a movie, so I decided to take them to chick-fil-a. I thought they could play while I worked. Ha.Ha.Ha. Kydon couldn't open the door to the play area so, literally, every 5 minutes I had to get up to open the door for him. He had numerous meltdowns, and eventually I had to give up, go home, work (which was filled with numerous meltdowns), and catch a later showing. When I finally finished my work I thought I was going to explode. I was bitter about having such an awful day. I decided I needed to take just a few minutes to pray and calm down before we left. When I closed my eyes it hit me that this had not been an awful day. Yes, I just had encountered a couple of awful hours, but this had actually been a great day. Lets rewind to 1:00 earlier in afternoon.

I was getting ready to meet with my advisor to figure out my final college spring schedule. I was nervous because I had looked at the course offerings and it didn't look like I was going to be able to match it with the boys' school schedule. I was willing to do a day or two of before or afterschool care, but I really wanted to be on the same schedule as the boys. I met with my advisor and we saw conflicts. We then worked it out where I would take the early morning class online. It all looked pretty manageable except for another early class that I would have to rush to make it to. We then realized that was offered online as well... and it was for the 2nd session online. It would be brutal to take two classes online during the same session along with on campus classes. Another pleasant surprise, I was able to transfer some credit hours, and was down to 15 hrs opposed to 16. I then spoke to my advisor who is also the vice president of the college about grad school and she gave me some great advise, encouragement, and offered to write a detailed recommendation letter to the grad schools I apply to.

I left the meeting feeling completely in awe of the Lord. He had been so gracious to me. I kept thinking during the meeting during my silent pleas with the Lord, that I didn't deserve Him to answer my prayer... I had even forgot to read my Bible that morning. But He took care of me. He lavishly poured out His love on me.

So fast forward a few hours, when i was getting ready to ride my day off as awful and was growing bitter towards the Lord for not working things out for me.... As I sat there remembering my afternoon, I thought how selfish I was being. No, this day had not been awful. I had let a relatively brief trial cause me to forget God's goodness and provision towards me. I guess its all about perspective...