family pic

family pic

Thursday, December 6, 2012

My name is Christina... and I am girly

This post contains some thoughts and musings that have been going through my head for a while now. As far back as I can remember, I have loved to dress up. My mom would make me the prettiest frilliest dresses and I couldn't wait for Sunday to come so I could wear one of them to church. I have early memories from when I was 5 walking down the hallway at church to go to my class and all the adults would tell me how pretty I looked in my handmade outfits. I ate it up :) I also remember thinking that 14 was the golden age. Most kids can't wait to turn 16 so they can drive. What was so magical about turning 14 you ask? That was the age I was allowed to wear makeup... blue, purple, green, pink, sparkling eyeshadows and pink, red, violet lipsticks, eyeliner, mascara, blush... the sky was the limit at age 14. You see before then it was just that clear mascara that made you look like you were almost wearing makeup.
Modeling my new Christmas present

and modeling another dress
wearing one of the dresses my mom made for me

I think this picture is pretty self explanatory

So this was me. 100% girly. The type of girl you never had to force to wear a dress! So then I started school. Occasionally I would dress up for school and wear one of my favorite dresses. Some of the little girls started asking me why liked to wear dresses. I started to get embarrassed about dressing up and made a point to dress down for school. One day I got made fun of for bringing my purse to school, so I quite carrying a purse as well. From that point on I feel like I suppressed the girl inside of me and tried to tell myself that "dressing up" was silly and shallow.

I was still always paranoid about over dressing. Most women have a fear of being underdressed for a nice event... mine was the complete opposite. About 5 years ago, one of the churches I was attending had a Valentines Banquet. I was so excited because I finally got to get dressed up. I wore my black lacy sparkly dress for this Hawaiian themed banquet. I walked into the fellowship hall and the pastor had on a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. Seriously

So this bring me to the present. I have decided that I love to dress up and that is ok. Yes, I still wear dresses to my college classes even though we are allowed to wear pants now. Yes I wear my dresses to church, not because I think we should wear our best for God in His house (which seriously makes no sense at all... technically the church isn't God's house... and He makes a point IN Scripture to tell us He doesn't look at the outer appearance, but the heart. Rabbit trail I know) I wear dresses simply because I Love to wear them! That is just who I am. And I'm becoming okay with that :)