Well, do you remember my last post about needing help and how I was hoping that in my next post I would be able to talk about how I mustered up the courage to ask for help?... I didn't even have to really ask for it, God just poured His mercy and grace on me, and I've gotten the help I need.
After writing the blog I went to Bible study with some of the girls from church and basically had a melt down. I told you I had hit my limit. My sweet friend Becky asked if she could come the next day and help out and I said....yes :) We had a great time just talking, taking turns holding Kydon, and cleaning. Sometimes I think I just need someone to sit with me and talk to me while I clean... I know its a bit pathetic isn't it! Then my sunday school teacher, Kathy, called and asked if she could come out on Wednesday and help me create a schedule for help. She came and we figured out all of my needs right now and she came up with a plan for getting me help. We also had a great talk and it was spiritually refreshing. I went to sunday school this morning and she announced what I'm needing and invited the class to come out to my house in a few weeks to clean and organize the place.
To top it all off, I ended up having some big emotional trials come my way this week... remember last week I had reached my limit! God just poured help and support on me to get me through the week. It wasn't part of His will to take the trials away, but He gave me strength I needed to endure. If He hadn't been working in my heart last week to get me to admit that I needed help and accept offers, I would have been a complete mess this week!
After church it was just me and Kydon, who had fallen asleep in the car. I knew that he would wake up as soon as I got him out of the car, so I decided to get some Mcdonalds and just eat it in the car. I started reading my Bible, praying and reflecting on the things the Lord has been teaching me. I wondered why it was part of God's story for me, to go through so many trials. I know God brings trials in your life to bring you closer to Him, and I became discouraged thinking that I must be pretty messed up to require such a big trial to make me more Christ like. Then I thought about Joseph. He wasn't that messed up to begin with right! and he had to suffer some pretty intense suffering. BUT God had a big plan for him that required Him to go through extra suffering to prepare Him for his calling. That was just his story. He has a different story than Moses, Isaiah, Mary, Paul and Peter. Their suffereing all came in different degrees in different stages of their lives. That is because each of their lives contains a different story. So, I concluded that I shouldn't be ashamed of where I'm at now, wishing my story was the same as other people's stories. I need to claim it as part of the unique story the Lord has written for my life to ultimately bring others to Christ.