family pic

family pic

Sunday, February 20, 2011

hope deferred

For those of you who know me, you know that I love to plan for the future. I'm not an organizer...ha..ha... definitely not an organizer, but I love to dream about my future and all the possibilities/opportunities that it holds for me. In high school I felt called to the mission field and envisioned a future of me in another country telling others about Jesus. That is actually what brought me here to NC, where I attended Piedmont to train in missions. That sounds like a great plan right? But the problem was that my hope was in going to the mission field. That is what kept me going. When that hope was taken away from me I was devastated. That changed everything. I grieved the loss of that dream and quickly transferred my hope into another dream...then another. Each to be taken away from me, causing me to settle on a lesser dream. Eventually I was left hopeless. Exactly where the Lord wanted me to be.

God has been showing me that my hope has to be in HIM. I had been so focused on what I could do for him...finding my purpose and worthiness in service. BUT the truth is that I am no less worthy serving the Lord right now than I would have been if I went to the mission field. I love the lyrics in Jason Grays song "I am new",

forgiven, beloved, hidden in Christ, made in the image of the giver of life, righteous and holy, reborn and remade, accepted and worthy, this is our new name

That is who I am regardless of what I do. So I say all of this to inform all my blogger friends that I am putting my hope in growing closer to my Abba and spending an eternity with Him someday :)