Many of you know that I play the piano. I love playing. It's a wonderful stress reliever for me. There can be utter chaos in my living room with all the boys.. screaming, wrestling, etc... and somehow I can just shut it all out when I put my hands on the keys. I enter my own little peaceful musical island when I play. I know what you are thinking... I would love to hear her perform sometime. The problem is that I cannot bring others on this island with me. We shipwreck on the way.
I discovered this at one of my first piano recitals. I was going to play a beautiful Chopin song and became so nervous that I literally had an emotional breakdown before I played... in the hallway sobbing because I was so nervous. So naturally you are thinking... I bet she played just fine. Nope. Some people perform well when they are nervous.. and some people shipwreck. I simply crash.
So lets fast forward a couple of years. I was chosen to perform in our junior high classical piano category in competition with other schools. I sat down at the piano. Played the first page by memory.... then I played the first page again by memory... and played it one more time... and then I got up and left the room. I forgot the last two pages.
A year later I played offertory in front of the church. Halfway through the song I became so nervous that my hands AND knees were furiously shaking. It was so bad that I seriously contemplated just getting up and leaving halfway through the song. I fumbled through the piece and pressed on.
Fast forward a few more years where I am grown and married in new church. I sat down at the piano to play offertory... started the usual shaking of the hands and knees... went to turn the page and dropped the book.
A few months after that I decided to sing in front of church and accompany myself on the piano. I was singing and went to turn the page... and I didn't drop the book this time... I knocked over the microphone.
That didn't stop me. I chose another song to sing and accompany myself on the piano to. I sat down and noticed the mic was too low to the piano. The music pastor went to adjust it for me. I started singing and the microphone slowly began to fall.... until in was laying on the piano. So there I am trying to tilt my head low while singing and attempted to press the keys around the mic.
You would think all of this would keep me on my private musical island, but I haven't given up yet. Someday I will turn this into a public island regardless of how many shipwrecks I have to endure on the way!