family pic

family pic

Thursday, April 21, 2016

A Single Mom's Most Embarrasing Experience

Boys and I after we finished cleaning the home we moved out of.
Okay my friends. I've decided that it is time to share one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. I'm pretty certain that majority of people feel best when their embarrassing experiences are shared with and known by no one. I on the other hand, being the extrovert that I am, have to verbalize the incident in order to have closure.

So THE incident. A couple of months ago the boys and I moved. We were planning on moving at the end of the month, but early on in the month, on a Sunday, I discovered the upcoming Saturday would be a better date for recruiting help from our new church. That's 6 days folks. 5 of which I was working from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. 2 of those evenings were filled with ball practices. Homework, laundry, cleaning, etc still needed to happen as well. Needless to say, I was nowhere near ready for this move. BUT I couldn't do this on my own, so somehow I was going to make this work.

Also let me add... Many people are familiar with the sheer utter chaos that comes with my family. I even talk about embracing chaos as a single mom. Remember I wrote a blog post about it. But... I didn't want that to be my church family's first impression of me. You want to look like you've got your act together... with a side of chaos. Chaos cannot be the foundation. Yes, in reality it most definitely IS the foundation of my family. I know. I'm a hypocrite. Stop. Just Stop. 

So fast forward to the day of the move. The people helping me out were to arrive at 11 a.m. We had to fit in a walk through of the new place and a ball game in before 11. I KNOW. So the morning of I'm rushing around the house trying to get everything all set for the ballgame. You guys, there are clothes all over the house. Not just from the boys, but from me as well. Not just shirts and pants if you know what I'm saying. There were dirty dishes in the sink and pots and pans covering the oven and the counter. It was terrible. I was having major anxiety looking around at the mess IN ADDITION to all of the boxes all over the house. The silver lining in my head was the 30 minute window in between the game and the time people were supposed to arrive. I was going to get a surge of adrenaline.. like the people you hear of who end up lifting a 3,000 pound car off a trapped victim..  I was going to get that kind of adrenaline rush and accomplish a month's worth of cleaning and packing in those 30 minutes. 

So fast forward a bit more. We drove out to the house, did a walk though, walked out of the soccer complex, and now .....Ready, Set, GO... GET TO THE HOUSE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I jumped in the car, seriously about to pop with anxiety and stress. As soon as I started driving I received a call from our pastor who had come to help with the move. 

They were already at the house. 

I can't. I can't even describe. The horror. 

You guys. My under garments were on the bathroom floor. Was there another pair behind the dresser... under the dryer... under the bed? The horror.

So the actual move....
Sitting here, thinking about the move...

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur. Maybe it's because I don't want to fully have to remember it. Maybe it's because I'm still suffering from some PTSD. Pretty much all of my fears came to life, including a spill of my "unmentionable" dresser drawer. Yes, they all fell out in the yard. Yes, this was when one of my pastors was moving it. Yes, it was terrible. Yes, I literally died... all life was gone from my body. Yes, I probably met Jesus, but He decided to send my soul back to earth because apparently the sole purpose of my creation is to humor Him.

So... after this move I was faced with 2 options. I could run away in shame, avoiding those people who saw me and my family at our absolute worst. Or I could let go of the shame and accept the season of my life the Lord has put me. You guys, this season is so incredibly humbling. It's not a pretty season. It's messy. It's loud. It's chaotic. And... it's what my family is right now.

So here I am. Owning this move... undergarments and all. Living in the freedom of Christ, and surprisingly experiencing a taste of His acceptance and grace from all of those poor souls who helped me with the move :)