family pic

family pic

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Loving My Children As They Are

Hey friends… I'm back :) The past month my life has been crazy and my mind has been mush. I'm going to just be honest… this whole blended family thing is hard work! I think I know what I'm doing, then I realize that I've been doing things completely wrong, then I realize that I may not have been entirely wrong, then I realize that I have no clue what I am doing! Really that pretty much summarizes my thinking process… pretty much every hour… of pretty much every day. Needless to say, there can be a lot of confusion!!

I have this vision of the family dynamic I desire for my home. Where the kiddos all see themselves as equal and loved… now part of the same family. I have this picture in my head of what our family should be… and I can't make it happen. My family consists of many ;) other individuals with separate visions and desires for our family. I can't make everyone love each other and accept the love they are given… and it hurts my heart each time I see that play out. 

Words are said that sting at times and cause me wanting to retreat. And to be honest sometimes I have had to retreat, getting alone to pray for strength or to call an encouraging friend. But most of the time I can't retreat. I can either fight back or look beneath the hurtful words to see a little boy, hurting and confused. Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes I have to look long and hard and squint my eyes a bit before I see that hurt, but its there! These boys have been through many trials that were completely out of their control. Every child should have a dad and mom who loves each other and loves them… and they didn't get that. It's not fair to them, regardless of who is to blame for their loss. 

And this brings me back to sacrificial love. Am I only going to love my kids if they love me back and treat me kindly? Or am I going to keep showing them love where they are at in their pain, even when it hurts me? It's not easy and I wish I could be bulletproof, but I'm not. Showing steadfast love will hurt, and is it worth hurting over? 

Christ died for everyone, not just those He knew who would love Him in return. He died for the atheist,  He suffered and bled for him, even if His love would never be accepted. I know what you are thinking, Well, He was Jesus. Of course He could love sacrificially! Like He was some kind of superhero who showed sacrificial love because of his super powers that enabled Him to do so. No, He didn't have super powers. He came to earth as a man, hurting and facing temptation just as we do now. 

So I end this post striving to show each one of my children Christ's steadfast and sacrificial love. How this plays out in all the different circumstances and issues that come up, I have no idea. But I strive to keep my heart tender to their hurt and to love each of them as they are.