family pic

family pic

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Crazy enough to handle a crazy life

I think it's time to continue on with my story :) I'm going to fast forward a bit to this past chapter of being a single mom.

I've shared before that I never pictured myself as a single mom. I had a vision of the family we would be, but eventually had to let go of that vision and accept the reality of what things were. I would complain to the Lord "Why me?", but deep down inside I knew that HE had equipped me to handle this season of my life. 

Before I even became a single mom I was always up for an adventure. God has just created me with a personality that loves change and challenges. If I'm honest, I never did things the traditional easy way even before I became a single mom. Part of this has to do with the way I grew up. My dad once took us on a vacation to South Dakota. We literally just hopped in the van and left. No hotels were booked ahead of time and we just took our time exploring on the way down. I also remember waking up on random Saturday mornings to one of my parents telling me "Wake up we are going out to eat for breakfast in 5 minutes". I would proceed to jump out of bed, frantically throw on some clothes, and run out the door. When I was 18 I moved states away and the prospect of not knowing hardly anyone excited me. I wanted to become a missionary and had no fear of moving to a new country and adjusting to a new culture. Most people would say "I hope God just doesn't cal me to Africa", and here I was hoping He would call me to Africa or the Amazon jungle. After having Carter, I drove up to Indiana by myself with a 2 year old and newborn. I'd attempt to nurse him, change diapers, and take my 2 year old potty at our gas stops. After 10+ hours of driving alone in the car we made it... with a screaming baby in the back and a two year old having a temper tantrum with an m&m stuck to his chin.

The list goes on and on.... Some of my ventures were great... and many..oh so many of them not so great. 

So as you can see.... I've never done things the easy traditional way. After becoming a single mom I would think "Why, God, do things have to be so hard?". But He would remind me that I would have a crazy life even if I wasn't a single mom... because that is just how I am. He had given me to personality to handle life as a single mom. And just when life would seem unbearable He would send someone to help me out. 

Now I can see in hindsight God's active working all throughout my life preparing me for this past season of my life. I just had to take a step back from the present and read the past.